A safety plan is a prepared personalised, practical plan that empowers you to assess your risks and plan accordingly. You can plan to create a safer environment if you intend to remain
in the relationship, or you can amend it to an exit plan.

It reduces feelings of helplessness by designing the different actions you can take to deescalate situations. These plans can vary according to what you need: safety in your home; access handovers; an upcoming wedding. It can also be devised if you have left the relationship and still feel at risk. It means by forward planning, you are prepared for any possible situation.

Know who to call

Try to have a friend and/or neighbour that you can trust. Support workers can assist you to develop a safety network, which focuses on who to contact if you are in danger and need help.
Develop a system that can alert them that you need help. One of these ways can be the use of a code word if you can manage to phone them prior to or after an incident.

Under a code name, have the numbers for local support service / refuge and Gardai installed on your phone.

If you can, try to avoid any violence by leaving.

Consider making a plan for each room in your home.

Assess each room of your home, know which doors lock and think about how you would get out of that room. See if you can reach the ground floor safely. This will allow you to identify what places in your home are safe and from which you can get out of quickly. Once you have identified your safe space, try to get there at the beginning of an argument so that you can exit as soon as possible.

Identifying dangerous rooms in your home.

The kitchen or a garage are some of the most dangerous rooms in the house. Any room that doesn’t have a clear exit is also unsafe. Prevent yourself from being back into a corner. If leaving feels unsafe, get to your safe area and make yourself a smaller target by curling into a ball, protect your face by wrapping your arms around your head.

It is crucial to remain connected to a support network of friends and family.

Having been manipulated, gas lit and isolated in your relationship means that you may have lost contact with family and friends. The reason to isolate you is to prevent you from getting help. Family / friends can be great allies at a time of stress and can help to build you back up.

Try to remain involved with hobbies / activities to prevent isolation. Seek support and assistance to manage your own self-care.

Consider making a plan for an Emergency Exit (as above).

You don’t need to do this on your own. One of our domestic abuse workers can assist you in this process where they can talk through different options with you. As they are familiar with
the local community, they can help with referrals to other support agencies and be able to offer contact numbers.

It’s important to remember that in moments of crisis your brain doesn’t function the same way as when you are calm. When adrenaline is pumping through your veins it can be hard to
think clearly or to make logical decisions about your safety. Having a safety plan laid out in advance can help you to protect yourself in those stressful moments. It is important to devise
your safety plan when you are able to think things through. There are also numerous websites which can offer support to create a Safety Plan but make sure to delete your browser history after searching.

When you have your safety plan, be sure to keep it in a place where your partner won’t find it, perhaps keep it with a friend/relative or where you work.

All women safety plan in their daily lives- this may be - not walking late at night or locking car doors when alone. Women and children living in domestic abuse survive in many different ways to cope with the abuse.

Many clients choose to remain in the relationship for many reasons. You and your child’s safety is what is most important. You are the expert with regards to your own relationship and know the types of patterns or triggers to prevent an increase in harm.

Domestic abuse organisations can work with you to look at the ways you are already keeping yourself safe and how to build on this. A support worker can also provide support during periods when you feel low, to explore what the key issues are for you.

If you have children, a Safety plan is needed to plan for both their physical and emotional safety. Have a conversation with them at a safe time where you can teach them what steps they need to take to be safe and how to get help.

Come up with a code word together which makes them aware that they need to take those steps, to either hide themselves or run to a friend / neighbour. A practice run can be devised so they can see how this works. When they go to a friend, the main objective is that they are safe, and that the Gardai can be called by that friend.

In an incident, fight your instinct and don’t run to them to protect them, and tell them that they must not run to you. Instruct them not to become involved in any arguments.

This is a plan that is devised when a woman has made the decision to leave. It is far better to do this in a planned way than in an emergency, however it is more common that this occurs in a crisis. Even when a woman decides that leaving might be in her best interests, there are many emotional, physical, and financial issues, combined with danger, that make leaving difficult. Leaving does not guarantee that the violence will end. Because of this danger, it helps to be prepared. Leaving a relationship is one of the most dangerous times for victims.

Your support worker will help you to plan the appropriate time to leave and assist you in making arrangements around your finances and accommodation needs to facilitate the transition.